Shopping for Ana

   Today I did some crazy shopping. I bought two 8 packs of mini diet coke bottles (I would have preferred coke zero, but I couldn't find any at the stores in town.), a six pack of zero calorie lemon flavored water, six packs of gum, tums (for calcium since im too much of a bitch to take giant horse pill calcium supplements), and crystal light packs. im really glad i have a job now so i can afford to buy all these things for myself. Today i did fucking awesome. i woke up and weighed myself (128 lbs) then took a shower and of course didn't eat anything. i went shopping shortly after but i had to make three trips back and forth to town and back to my house. i went to three different stores so in between each store i went to, i walked back home and dropped of the bags. this was actually a really good workout. After i went shopping, i opened one of those waters and have been drinking off of that all day. my dad got home and tried to fuck things up for me though. He made a BBQ pulled pork sandwich and offered me one for dinner. i told him i had a late lunch and id probably eat later and that i really didn't like pork much anyways. right now im in my room updating this to keep me from eating. that pulled pork smells so good...
   FUCK NO!! wait a sec! no. it smells nasty. that's why i'm in my room. to keep me away from that nauseating smell. it was giving me a headache. Gross. i hate BBQ and i hate pulled pork. I hate bread. I hate food. It' s sick. gross. yeah.
  i feel better now.
    subject change. I'll hopefully have my license in a few weeks and i already have a car so itll be easier to get out of the house when i want to avoid eating. as long as i have enough gas money, the mall is going to be my new favorite place to go to avoid eating. maybe i can pick up a friend to go with me. i really wish i had an ana buddy. someone who lived close by that i could drive to pick up and take her to the mall with me. that way we could try on skinny clothes together and poke our own fat and talk about how good we'll look in those clothes when were skinny. then go to the food court and get diet cokes and make fun of all the fat people around us who are stuffing their faces like fucking cows. someone who would go to Hot Topic and Spencers with me and talk about how awesome we would look in fish nets and emo styles. then go to girly stores and try on dresses and cute clothes that make us look good. someone who can be my wing girl in pointing out and grabbing the attention of hot guys. just fun. that would be a perfect day out.
   Sorry. i got lost in a daydream there for a second. seriously though. It would be cool to have an ana buddy like that. But anyways, i need to go entertain myself. finish my water and maybe crack open a diet coke. i need to start working out again too. Damn better get started.
                Laterz! stay strong! <3